What do Birthday Trout, BUMper Stickers & Dirty Jerky all have in common?

What do Birthday Trout, Bumper Stickers & Dirty Jerky all have in common? Nothing really. We figured the title would draw you in and dupe you into reading our blog. Can you blame us? But in all seriousness, all three have been photographed and officially documented within this acknowledged digital layout of funny quips and witty facts that we call our humble abode of a blog. Don't believe us? Well, if you read this blog post in its entirety, all the way to the end, without skipping anywords, dwelling on each picture and its caption for at least a minute at a time, and adding a comment at the end...then you will know for sure. Ha, we did it again! A marketing degree really does come in handy. Ok, we'll stop at that. We don't mean to COKE with your minds and GATORADE you into continually reading this blog with subliminal messaging. We truly appreciate your RED BULL and hope that you enjoy this blog on a weekly basis not because you are TEQUILA too, but because you take pleasure in reading about our riverbumming experiences and look forward to learning more about BUSCH LIGHT. Hey, anyone thirsty?

So as fall was officially rung in on Friday, we found ourselves in search of some decent trout fishing. We rented a black buick and headed to the beautiful state of Michigan..

Saturday- Day 1

The Riverbums were a bit hazy on this particular Saturday morning popping aspirins and sucking back V8 tomato juice (A full serving of vegetables in every swig). Let's just say Dad was the bell of the ball at his co-workers' wedding and AC had a little too much fun with the locals and a bottle of Don Julio in Pilsen. Despite the licquor up and lacquer down, no hangover would silence these bums. So we packed up and headed out to the Pere Marquette River in Baldwin, MI.

With an average water temp of 50-54 degrees, the Saturday was a perfect day for salmon and trout. Known to be stocked with brookies, browns, steelhead rainbows and of course salmon, the PM is one of the most popular and crowded trout streams in Michigan. Our mission: Steelhead, Our choice of weapon: Casting rods, Our choice of lure: Rainbow patterned hollow bellies with black jigs. We have had success with these lures in the past with steelhead in the Milwaukee river. The lake run steelies love these realistic looking treats and they range in all sizes and colors. Therefore, they are a great lure to use in any steelie creek, streem, or wide river.

Steelies love these hollow bellies on casting rods

We accessed the river at Gleason's Landing off of 62nd ave and we're we shocked or what? The parking lot was packed with every kind of fisherman and boater you could find... fly fishermen, bait fishermen, canoers, kayakers, even skinny dippers! We knew right away that this was going to be a tough day. Despite the fact that this river is one of the most famous in Northern US, it also was the last weekend of regulation trout season in this river. The last day is September 30th and everyone wanted one final taste of the Pere Marquette's generous taleful. But, with clear skies and a bearable temperature of 55 degrees we waded out into the artificial, non-fly zone area, sporting our hope high for a big steelie (or two!)

AC Plugging for Steelies in the Pere Marquette

Within an hour or so, we waded past dozens of fishermen and dozens of boaters. In one chance encounter we ran into a father and son walking along the path that was carved alongside the river. This is one reason we choose rivers that are hard to access and pathless..because that means less people. The son was dragging behind him about 6 salmon in a net singing some sesame street song and screaming to his father to slow down cause the fish were too heavy. The father noticed us and pointed out a log jam that was harboring 20-25 salmon just around the bend. "The log jam is just full of them there," the man pointed, "Just stick a bobber on and an orange egg sack and wait." 

Bobber? Egg sack? Wait? Just wait there? This was like listening to nails scratch on a chalk board or watching Elaine dance on Seinfeld or seeing Charlie Sheen's surprise appearance on the Emmy's or being locked in a chokey filled with scorpions as water fills up quickly...PAINFULL! That was the last thing we wanted to hear. The idea of just standing in one place, trolling plastic egg sacks for hours on end to catch one of the slowest fish you can possibly catch in a river. Not thank you. Just cause we're RiverBums doesn't mean we only beg on one river corner my friends? Hell no! These are RiverBums that make an appearance in every nook and cranny of a river, casting thousands of times wherever there is water, in hopes of catching more than one fish. We were not going to waste the day away "snagging salmon" as they say. 

So after realizing that we were too early for lake run steelies and the river was just too damn crowded, and we didn't want to sit in one spot and snag a salmon and we were sick of seeing people and we couldn't stand we decided to wade out after 5 hours on the river  in search of some ice cold beers!

Of course, AC never leaves a river without first running into some type of animal or insect. And this time it was a wolf spider that hopped out and greeted AC with a friendly eight legged hello...  

Wolf Spider that crawled on AC's waders!

After spending an hour playing with the creepy crawler, AC joined Dad on the wade out and they headed to the town of Ludwig to the famous Brewing Company Inc for local beer and homemade reubens. On our way to the restaurant we stopped by the harbor and shot photos of the SS Spartan...

That's one big LakeBum

Sunday-Day 2

So after a night in iconic ludwig of AC wooping Dad's butt in air hockey in the hotel's "Game room"(Yes, this hotel had a game room!) we headed off at 5 am for the Au Sable river in Grayling, Michigan.  Another famous trout river of Michigan, the Au Sable runs nearly 130 miles across the state. Did you know that Au Sable means "the sand" in french? Well, it does and no surprise why this river was named such. A nice sandy bottom with beautiful curves around forest preserves and farm land. 

So we grabbed our fly rods, popped on some ant and hopper patterns and fished just above the fly only zone in Grayling. After 2 hours casting, Dad and AC caught 4 HUGE brookies...

AC's GIGANTIC Birthday Trout!

(Hey, big or small, it was a trout worth 23 years!)

Another HUGE Brown Trout!

We know what you are thinking? Man, can these fishermen reel them in or what? Ok, ok, so they weren't the trophies we were hoping for, but cut us some slack line here... they were our first trout of the season and don't worry... their are bigger ones where these don't come from. And we can say this with confidence as we learned right there on the river (From a local fly fisherman fishing the Au Sable) that all the biggies had been fished out. Damn! Didn't they get the memo that the RiverBums were coming? Guess not... So why was the local fishing, knowing the big fish were all gone, fishing anyways?... he says his wife doesn't know the big fish are gone and that gives him a few peaceful moments on a beautiful river... ALONE. Amen to that!

Birthday Girl's first cast on the Au SAble

And the last... for now...

Fall Colors above a RiverBum

So we concluded our Michigan weekend with 2 new rivers under our wader belts, 4 tiny trout and AC one year older. Of course our Bumming travels wouldn't be complete without a little highway humor. So let's us introduce you to a new segment of the RiverBums blog... ROAD RANTS...

Imagine you are driving down a peaceful farm road after a beautiful

day of fishing with your daughter. The Vapors come on over the radio with 

"Turning Japanese" and this sign appears...

It's official folks...jerkying your meat is now socially acceptable year round!

A Birthday Bum present from Dad

So as an official team, we have decided to put our name down in writing and create bumper stickers... We hope to see a BUMper sticker on every BUMper in the nation. So, if you like what we do and see what you like, let us know your favorite colors and you could be the next Bum to own a RiverBUMper sticker!

AC Modeling near our new removable "RiverBums" BUMper sticker after fishing the Pere Marquette. 

(Orders are now being accepted)

Until next time...we'll see ya on the other side of the river!

Cast Away,

AC & Dad

If you don't get snagged, you aren't fishin hard enough...

Now, although we are excellent casters, from time to time we do seem to get "caught" up in things other than fish. A floating log, a tree, a kayaker. Sometimes, whether you want to blame it on the wind or not, a good cast can turn ugly. As RiverBums we repeatedly find ourselves standing up to our chests in a strong current and casting as the water grabs us. And as important as fishing is to us, not drowning comes first, surprisingly. But we feel that if you aren't, as Dad's father and AC's grandfather would say, "Fishing for squirrels" then you're not risking anything. Caught in a tree? Excellent! Snagged on a boulder? Fantastic! Lipped a rafter? You're a Pro! Although it may seem like the "wade of shame" as a RiverBum is seen wading across river pulling down branches to break free a lure from a tree, it's actually a demonstration of determination. Yes, a showmanship of eager beaverness, a creative yet enterprising angler, an out-of-the-tackle-box cast, a zealous zinger. No matter the challenge, a RiverBum will cast in hopes of catching that fish, yes that one right there. No, that's a log, we mean that one over there! 

So, it was a weekend at our all time prized river where trying hard never felt so good and sometimes that awry cast produced a smallie. It was a 79 degree and clear skies 2 day fishing expedition on the ********* river (Sorry, hafta kill ya) where we sweat hard for the smallies and waded new waters...

Day 1- Saturday

We would like to thank the academy for their nomination and the producers, Shwartzman and Weiss, we couldn't have paid for this without you... Ok, so the video may not be award winning, but the camera man has skills and you have to admit... that was fun to watch, wasn't it? 

The reason we decided to film this particular spot was because we were sure a fish was going to bite...it's the Crazy-Ass Pool. On a mid July Saturday, we would normally catch anywhere between 10 and 12 smallies in this pool. But, with the cooler water and September blues fast approaching, we only caught 3. So, we were lucky the camera caught anything! But, Saturday still turned out to be a prosperous day of smallie snagging with about 30 fish caught all together...

Dad with a dark lunker caught hiding below a boulder!

AC reels in a smallie while wading! Mad skills!

Dad plugging a pool

AC fell in the water for this one!

Dad hooked on a smallie!

AC working the boulders!

(This is known as the Lewis & Clark pose! She has discovered smallies)

Look at the belly on this one...

(No, the fish not the RiverBum!)

Day 2- Sunday

After a good night's sleep in a holiday inn, we set off for another successful day in the river. With another beautiful day of 79 degrees and clear skies we waded in, in hopes of a great LAST day in the ************ river. We knew this would be our last chance of smallies with next weekend looking at 50 degree weather. So, we were in the water by 9 am and fished as late as we could...

The Biggest boulder we have ever seen on the ********* river!

AC's first smallie of the day!

Dad with his, "This fish isn't big enough for a photo" face!

Although we tried all sorts of lures on this particular day; assorted twistys and top water, we quickly realized that the smallies weren't having any top water. So we retired our torpedoes for the weekend and stuck to yellow twisty tails on eyed orange jigs. We kept the casts close to structure (boulder, along a dead tree, inside weeds) and let the lures sink down in the pools. Since the water was cooler, the smallies weren't hitting the lures as hard as usual, but a few slow jerks at the bottom of the pool and the trap was set...

AC with a giant smallie caught inbetween 2 boulders! TIGHT!

Where the hell are my pliers?

We didn't want to come to the realization that eventually we would have to leave this river and drive home before it was too dark. Alas, we made our last casts, took one last look at the river, and trekked out. But, as we came closer and closer to the parking lot we noticed hundreds of, dun DUn DUN, PEOPLE! And their bikes. They were partaking in a triathlon and we happened to be parked in the middle of their transition from bike to run...

So, after swiping a few shimano bikes, we dressed down, packed up and headed home. Both Bums tried not to look back at the river, but they couldn't help it. Dad drove to a more recluse area of the river and they got out to watch the rapids as the sun began to set. We heard bagpipes playing as we hopped back into the car and watched river diminish in our rear view mirror. So we say goodbye to the smallie fishing of the ********* river and hello to trout season! But, not until we try our northern baits in the FOX river this coming weekend. So, keep your blog eyes peeled for our tale of the Fox river coming soon to a screen near you...Until next time, we'll see ya on the other side of the river!

Cast Away,

AC & Dad

Look What the Lure Dragged In...

They say (whoever they are) that there are two kinds of fishermen, those that fish for sport and those that catch something. Fortunately, we happen to be a mix of both. But as RiverBums, fishing is more than a sport and catching fish. It's about hope. Hoping that there is a smallie hiding beside the boulder, hoping there is a northern in the weeds waiting to pounce on that torpedo, hoping that the skies stay blue and the water stays clear. It takes years of practice to hope the way a RiverBum hopes. A day of fishing may never end because we are too afraid to turn back, thinking we may be missing the best spot just up river. "Ok, just a little bit further, "Dad'll say. "Ya, just until that next boulder, then we'll turn back." AC will respond. Minutes later, maybe a fish was caught maybe not. It is time to turn back, but not until a RiverBum says, "Ok, just one more wade, up until that boulder. I swear last time, just once more..." Hope, my friends, that's the difference between a Bum and a RiverBum.


Saturday- Day 1

And we were full of hope as we packed up and roadtripped a good 7 hours Saturday morning to northern Wisconsin to discover what the Bois Brule River had in stock for us. It was 4am when we crossed the border into Wisconsin and pitch dark. However, there was plenty of light coming from the 3 massive storms that swirled around us. Systems were closing in, coming from the south and west. It was quite a lightning show, but it turned dangerous when we had to drive through it. We powered through the storms until clear skies broke around 8 am. Our hopes were still high as we checked a local rest stop radar map to see that the northern most half of Wisconsin was storm free.

After filling up on water and gas at the local shop in Brule, Wisconsin, we drove up and down alongside the river, searching for access points and information on the Bois Brule. Oh and did we discover good information or what? 5 of our nation's presidents have fished the Brule; Ulysses Grant, Grover Cleveland, Calvin Coolidge, Herbert Hoover, and Dwight D. Eisenhower. And apparently, our current president had fished here as well, as we discovered a red coffee can full of night crawlers. The source of the Bois Brule is Lake Superior so there is a great mix of steelhead, brook, brown, and rainbow trout.

One of hundreds of kayakers in the Bois Brule

Now, you may be looking at the picture above and thinking, "Wow, what a beautiful river!." Ya, that's what we thought. But, take a closer look at this picture. A little closer, a little closer. THERE! Do you see it? Yes, my friends, that is a kayaker. As you already know, we loathe people. And kayakers are people with kayaks. And people with kayaks don't mix well with trout that are easily scared off as they come paddling 40 mph down the river, paddles flailing, trash flying, and voices screaming.  And just so you are clear, this is just one of the 800 kayakers that crossed our lines. Granted, this is one of the most popular rives in the US and most popular in the summer time for boaters. And while we were annoyed by the colorful floaters invading our peaceful wade into the Bois, there didn't seem to be any fish to scare away. Dad did catch a brook trout about an hour in, but that was all she wrote about our 4 hour bum in the Bois Brule. The truth is, the trout aren't hitting yet and the steelies don't really get hot until October. The lake run fish haven't come in yet. So despite the lack of fish and invasion of kayakers, we vouched to visit the Bois Brule in the Fall and we are determined to have more tails for you then...As it started to rain, again, we headed out in search of a hotel in Hayward. 

A cute touristy town, we arrived in Hayward later than expected and had to stay at this cheap Americinn motel that only allowed hookers in. Which only meant that one of the RiverBums had to put on a cheap facade to get us in. So, Dad pulled on his tube top and daisy dukes and we had found a room in no time. We then walked to the nearest piggly wiggly, grabbed a six pack of Red Lager Leinenkugels, a salad, a samich, and called it a night. Oh and before we forget..YOU, ya you, the host who checked us in! Ya, we're talking to you. After informing us that we couldn't use the computer, we couldn't have extra towels, and we couldn't find a decent restaurant or church around we would like to formally never invite you to come fishing with us. You have been Bum listed!

Fishing for a Sponsor, we SINK this is a good way to do it!

(when there is no fridge, the sink is runner-up)

Sunday- Day 2

After mass at St. Joseph's in town, we headed to the Hayward Fly Fishing Co. This quaint but great little fly fishing shop is full of awesome river gear and information on local rivers. They also offer river guides where novice to expert fishermen can experience the best Musky fishing around! We met the owner Larry and he gave us some great access points for the Namekagon river just a few miles away. AC picked up a new pair of fly tying magnifying glasses since she is getting old and we set out for the Namekagon

After a quick breakfast at "The Restaurant" (Yes, that was the name of the place!) we headed out to fish the Namekagon river. This river is a tributary of the St. Croix river in which the RiverBums have fished before about 2 years prior. Unlike the jagged and bouldery bottom of the St. Croix, the Namekagon has a sandy bottom and is much easier to wade. This type of terrain is ideal for muskies and we hear (from Larry) that this river is one of the best smallie rivers in the Midwest. 

Upon our arrival at our first Namekagon access point we ran into officials in search of some fishing identification...

Checking Fishing Licenses!

In Dad's 56 years of fishing this was Dad's 2nd time having his license checked and AC's first!

(Ok, you got us! We paid this guy to purchase the outfit and stand there and pose!)

After an A-OK from ranger Roy, we waded into the Namekagon. Within 20 minutes of casting, Dad landed a smallie and seconds later AC landed one too in the same pool with twisty tail lures on orange jigs...

First Smallie in the Namekagon

The RiverBums waded further up river. With a temperature of 55 degrees, the water was quite cool and after 4 hours of just 2 smallies caught, our hopes of catching more of this summer dwelling species seemed dismal. As we were about to turn back, Dad felt something tugging at his wader boot. He reached his hand down to see what it was and pulled up quite a surprise. A 6 foot long rope dangled from his hand and attached on the other side was a northern...

Northern Caught Us!

Some BoatBum had this poor fella tied to the end of a rope and was, what we can only imagine, trolling his catches tied behind him . The drunken bastard didn't seem to tie his rope tightly enough to the boat as it came loose and all the fish swam away. However, this Northern was strung through the gill pretty well as there was a knot blocking him from escaping his stringy prison. But that's not all! Yes my friends, we would like to introduce you to the Dun DUn DUN... Lamprey Eel...

The Lamprey Eel makes Saddam and Gaddafi look pretty!

These blood sucking leeches attach themselves to the bodies of fish and suck the life out of them. And, once that fish is dead, they move on to the next one. These are the same chum swindlers that plagued Lake Michigan and sent thousands of fresh water fish to their swampy graves and destroyed the populations in almost every great lake in the US. So, what do you do when you run into an evil Lamprey Eel sucking on a fish in the river? Get out your pliers, pull the damn thing off, get out your knife and chop off it's head. Simple yet effective! Knife is to Eel as garlic is to vampire as silver bullet is to werewolf, as fire is to Frankenstein monster, as cheese is to the lactose intolerant, and as a male strip joint is to Charlie Sheen...let us stop there...

MMMmm, Sushi!

After finishing up at the Namekagon, we waded out with a count of 2 smallies, 1 Northern, and 1 Lamprey Eel. Ok so with the fall tiptoeing in, we knew this river would be sans smallies than usual. But Hey! At least we have a cool story to tell and we told it!

So as it started to rain, again, we packed up and visited the local Musky Farm! Where we saw the largest musky of all time...But, since it cost more to touch it, the RiverBums enjoyed it's splendor from the other side of the fence, Bum style all the way...

We're Gonna Need a Bigger Boat!

We ran into a local Irishman playing fetch with his dog. He would throw this buoy far out into the river and his lass retriever would run out after it. Turns out his dog's name was Limey cause he was English and the Irishman believed that all Englishmen should be referred to as Limey. That and his dad was a marine in WWII who fought alongside the English and always referred to his friendly allies as Limeys. Wow, it's nice to see that an Englishman can be subservient to an Irishman for once. We were so impressed that we decided to take his picture. Although we didn't quite catch the mick's name we think he looked like an old Duffy O'Doherty and we're sticking with that me lads and lassies!

Duffy O'Doherty the Irishman and his BonnieLass Limey!

RiverDog all the way!

Monday- Day 3

Since we had an extra day and we ran out of planned rivers to visit, we decided to trek to our favorite river... the ********** (Sorry, hafta kill ya)

After a quick breakfast of nuts, fruit and coffee (Oh my!) we arrived at our never-lets-us-down river. We did a little exploring as it was only 7am and still too early for smallies to start hitting. We visited new access points to the river and discovered a cool suspension bridge tucked within a mile or so hike of forest to the river...

View of the River from Suspension Bridge

Karate RiverBum on a Suspension Bridge

After a bit of frolicking around the river, we drove on to fish a new access point...

Although the temperature never reached higher than 50 degrees we were still hopeful for smallies. This  particular access point had great parking (Which is rare near great rivers...New York isn't the only place famous for lacking this) and there was a cleared path that followed down to the water. Bundled up and packed down we waded on and were surprised to discover the water was quite warm. This made us more hopeful and we began casting away...Would the RiverBums catch smallies this late in the summer? Would AC be able to handle the cold temperatures without whining and crying like a girl???...

AC with a smallie in 45 degree weather!

"Dad and Smallie sittin in the river...F-I-S-H-I-N-G..."

The only smallie on top water!

Dad with a smallie smallie!

AC hooked up with a smallie!

(That's what happens to a single girl who fishes, she gets too involved with the fish :)

Ok, so there was no whining and crying, but there were quite a few smallies. Despite the cool air temperatures, the water stayed warm which in turn, allowed us to RiverBum away. It turned out to be another great smallie trip on the ******* river. We were also able to explore the Bois Brule and Namekagon. And be sure to tune in around late fall as we for surely plan to visit these rivers again when the steelhead are running and the trout are HOT!

Oh and before we sign off...last week we hinted at some possible video footage. Well, RiverBums always deliver and so please take the time to view just a few seconds of Dad landing a smallie on top water below. We apologize for the rough footage and shortage in film, but hey, we're fishing here! It's not like Spielberg stops to fish when he's filming people! 

Now that's exciting! So, we hear Wisconsin is supposed to be sunny and clear this weekend...you know what that means? You don't mind if we end here right? Cause we gotta put new line on the rods as we are expecting to reel in the lunkers. Until next time, we'll see ya on the other side of the river...

Cast Away,

AC & Dad