Fishpedition

If you are wondering whether or not the rain water washed us away...do not fret...we are still here and do we have a tail for you...

This Saturday started out like any other summer fishing Saturday. Up at 3am, coffee, double check fishing gear, triple check fishing gear, walk dogs, out by 4am. But, as we merged onto 94 west we were surprised to find dozens of flares, cars going the wrong way and a handful of fuzz cars. Yes my friends, the under pass below the bridge was 5 feet flooded after a night of non-stop rain, hail and the largest lightning storm we had ever experienced. No go on the expressway and only a mile from home we feared for the worst. But, we weren't going to stop there! Our fishpedition had just begun...

After zigzagging on side streets and taking a few detours through backyards, we found a way onto the expressway. Pouring, hailing and dodging lightning we cruised on in search of greener pastures and bluer skies. Despite weather reports claiming our secret spot to have clear skies and sun until 3pm, we couldn't help the proof of evidence depicted by the black and blue beating our car took on from above.

Alas, we drew nearer to the ********** river (Sorry, hafta kill ya) and the weather cleared. We knew we only had a mere few precious hours. So, we dressed fast, walked hard and carried long rods! (Ba Dum Chi).

3 hours in of wading and casting, we caught 15 beautiful smallies with bait casters. We alternated between lures. When Dad used frog patterned top water torpedoes, AC used yellow twisty tails with long hook jig heads. When Dad used an orange crawdad patterened bottom dropper jig, AC used a red belly chugger. And was it a buffet on the river or what? Smallies hit just about everything but the kitchen sink. We would know, we've tried it! Yes my friends, it seemed like the day was going to be a homerun. That was until all hell broke out among the Gods...



Now, there isn't a whole lot that a fisherman is scared of. Despite socialization, large crowds, broken hands and deserts there is one that is probably the most dangerous. And that is lightning. Sure, it doesn't sound so bad from where you are sitting pretty at your computer. But just try standing waist deep in water, holding a 6 foot long graphite rod, wearing metal hooks, pliers and buckles, and surrounded by towering trees with no safe cover around my friends! Ha, now you're scared.

So with that, Dad grabbed AC by the straps and hauled her ass up river faster than you can say "overprotective." As long as it took us 2.5 hours to go down river, we made it back in under 15 minutes. Sweating, soaking and running for dear life, we made it back just in time to see the first bolt of lightning strike from the inside of our car. We live to fish another day!

So until next time.. see ya on the other side of the river!

Cast Away,

AC & Dad

Skunk, Line & Sinker

This weekend we hired a sitter to watch our two Australian cattle dogs and set off to Michigan to experiment with 4 new rivers. The drive around the southeast side of Chicago through Indiana is not exactly easy on the eyes. Where the steel mills produce the same smells that permeate from every McDonalds.  Despite this view, we were hopeful to jump into and explore new waters...

The Kalamazoo River- North Branch

Dad Riverbuming it in the Kalamazoo

Saturday morning we walked the north branch of the Kalamazoo in Albion, Michigan. Access points were difficult because most of the North Branch is surrounded by private property and parking was scarce. 3 hours waded and not one fish was caught. Bait casting with top water, twisty with jigs, and leech patterns were used. The water level never reached above our knees and the water was crystal clear. A beautiful river to walk but this North Branch had been so out fished. Remains of countless beer cans and bottles as well as dozens of houses situated in the banks were evidence of the human over population of this river. Whatever smallies had been there were long gone by the time we came around. Although a beautiful stretch of water in a wholesome setting, this branch of the Kalamazoo should be avoided.

Ratings:      1 poor      2 fair      3 good      4 great     5 excellent

Water clarity: 5                  Smallie abundance: 1               Environment: 3           Overall: 2.5

The Grand and Flat River- Between Greenville and Lansing

The Grand is Michigan's longest river with 250 miles covered. It turned out to be mucky and muddy despite the lack of rain over the prior few days. We were told the Grand was stocked with smallies but much to our disappointment we discovered nothing but bottom feeders. The bottom was almost too difficult to wade as each step sunk us deeper into dingy graves. How could a smallie live here? No presence of boulders or clear water. We recommend avoiding this stretch of the Grand if you can as it is not even worth the view. However, our weekend was too short to venture the rest, so the Grand may be more grand than we think in other areas.

The Flat river is a tributary of the Grand. Although much narrower in size, the flat mirrored the Grand in it's mud and muck presence. Many brook trout creeks enter into the flat which add to it's beauty. However, no sign of smallies over the weekend and access points to the river are scarce. All in all, this river lived up to it's name as it fell flat in our bum adventures. 

Ratings:      1 poor      2 fair      3 good      4 great     5 excellent

Water clarity: 2                  Smallie abundance: 1              Environment: 4           Overall: 2

The fishing was so bad, AC ended up checking stock prices!

AC marking her territory

The Muskegon River- Croton Dam and Newaygo

Dad hoping for a smallie!

(Right before he caught a 4-inch smallie-Skills!)

Have Rod Will Wade...

(AC chest deep in pursuit of the one that got away)

The Muskegon is a wide and magnificent river with stunning hills and rapids. We accessed the Muskegon near Croton Dam and found an accessible place to park. We fished a larger part of the area between Newaygo and Croton for about 5 hours. Over populated with canoers, boaters, and worst of all,  rafters!  Unfortunately the only thing this stretch wasn't overpopulated with was fish! Outfished by anglers since early Spring. Although, we had a few hits on frog patterned torpedoes from carp. They would swat the top water with their tails but never hit again. Nothing like smallies but atleast our lures found some action. We plan to visit the Muskegon in the fall for Steelhead season and hopefully then we can report back with lunkers!

Ratings:      1 poor      2 fair      3 good      4 great     5 excellent

Water clarity: 5                  Smallie abundance: 2               Environment: 5           Overall: 3

Like a Scene out of Jaws!

After discovering these rivers in fishing and angler books, we've realized that these so called "experienced fishing authors" may not be telling the truth all the time. We suspect that these authors, who will remain unnamed, may take information from other sources and never actually visit the river. Despite this and the fact we got skunked this weekend, we discovered new waters and enjoyed what each one had to offer. How was that PC comment? Did it make you feel warm and fuzzy inside? Good, we're glad. But next weekend we are going to our secret spot and I guarantee you, there will be lunkers! Oh yes my friends, get ready, cause the RiverBums have been dry too long and we are ready to HOOK, line and sinker! Until next time...we'll see ya on the other side of the river!

Cast Away,

AC & Dad

Tidbaits #1

If you are a beginner or novice bait caster, you may find yourself fighting bird's nests in your reel after a long cast. Ok, I'll admit it happens to the best of us after a long day. A perfect tool to fix this conundrum is a tooth pick. Yes my friends, sneak your fingers down pappy's and old grandpa's breast pocket and snatch that antique metal toothpick and stow it away in your tackle box. A tooth pick is just the utensil to pick your way out of a nasty hang-up and into the reel of a perfect cast.

Gone for the weekend to Michigan. Until next time...we'll see ya on the other side of the river!

Cast Away,

Ac & Dad

Chugs, Drugs & Rock'n Roll

Yes my friends, this Sunday rocked our waders off. The river was filled with the sounds of Rolling Stones,  Clearwater, and ROD Stewart. Ok, that one took it too far! But, in all seriousness, this weekend turned out to be a triumphant feat of casting and catching. Chugger baits were the hot merchandise in the river and they were selling like crazy!

It started out as a slow day, as the first 3 hours produced nothing. The water was even murkier than last weekend and our fears heightened as more casts were made and less fish were caught. But, just as the sun started to warm the water and noon rolled around, the fishing got hot! Top water lures came to the rescue and in no time we were reeling in monster smallies.

We put the dissatisfying twisty tails away and focused on the top water lures (yellow and green frog patterned torpedoes with 2 treble sets). 9 hours, 2 miles waded, and 45 fish! I'd say that's a job well done. Oh yes my friends, the Riverbums were hiring and we made sure to see every scaly and slimy candidate.

Here are a few Tidbaits on River Top Water:

The top water proved most effective in the afternoon, as the water had the chance to warm up. The fast moving water held fewer fish. Whereas, the eddys and ponds of slower moving and deeper water held darker colored and abundant smallies. 

Recent rain made the river cloudy and normal sub surface lures didn't produce as many hits. We reverted to top water in order to get vibration and motion strikes, which was at that point our only option. When using a Torpedoe top water, quick jerks of noisy retrieval patterns cause the top water to travel sub surface 3 to 4 inches at a time to alert and intrigue the fish. Even though the fish cannot see the lure through the murky rain water, the noise of the vibrations produce multiple strikes. However the desire to set the hook early must be timed to perfection. If not timed properly, the fish may get a taste of the hook and refuse to hit again. 

Of course, the key to success of top water is precise pin point casting. Being able to land that torpedoe right above a nest or behind a boulder with a pool is ideal. That and the combination of rythmic chugging and timed hook setting is what turns a good day of top water into a great day.

Until next time, we'll see ya on the other side of the river.

Cast Away,

Ac and Dad

Example of Torpedo Top Water

Swolen River Blues

The last 2 weeks have been brutal. Our four bordering states (Wisconsin, Michigan, Iowa, and Minnesota) have been rained out and all rivers are swollen. It's bad enough to live in Illinois, but to be forced to be here, quarantined from the passion, is even worse. It has been a painful wait to fish the bloated waters that haunt our daydreams. The fix to our uncontrollable addiction remains allusive.  My father becomes increasingly obnoxious as we are both forced to spend our days with the none fishing human population. With land dwellers that use words and phrases like internet, spreadsheets, or "would you like ketchup on that hot dog?"

Man, are we sick of people asking us, "Do you fish with worms?" Dad's common answer, "No, my ex-wife doesn't fish."

I know it's really bad when Dad starts to look at women. My fear is he has traded his mattressed field and stream, Bassin, American Angler, and Southwest Fly Fishing for Playboy, penthouse, and hustler. Dad, put down the boobies and pick up your rod. Nope that's the wrong rod...

On my current hunt for a job I woke up sharply at 5am and found myself putting on my wader boots for a job interview. It wasn't until I finished my second cup of coffee halfway there that I realized how my black suit clashed with my khaki field green and brown lace-up felt-bottoms. Orvis and Brooks Brothers never look good together. Note to self, less alcohol the night before an interview.

Caught my dad at a shopping center retention pond catching bluegills. I had to drag him away as two Polish ladies carrying sales bags watched horrified. Surprisingly, they were intrigued and studied the pond hoping to find a sale there too. Sorry ladies, this shop has been cleaned out. Dad screamed, "NO, Ac wait, leave me, bluegills love beetlespins, just one more yellow beetlespin... BEETLESPIN, BEETLESPIN, BEETLESPIN! A slap to the face sobered him, "Dad, get a hold of yourself, you were sloppy, think roll cast, think man think." He responds, "Thanks Ac, I needed that."

On our way back from the center, we reminisce how we missed the 3 days we hated (2 years back), trapped in the boundary waters by white caps where each row of the paddle took us waves back. Oh how we wished to be there now.

One advantage to swollen rivers is we have had the chance to re-line our reels. Yes folks, 1 of our 30 reels has been re-lined after a matter of 5 minutes. Thats about as much time as a post-college grad job seeker and 50 hours per week rent a car VP has.


But, you will be pleased to know that we are planning on visiting our favortite spot ******** this Sunday (Sorry people, if we tell you we'd have to kill you) The rain has ceased and the river level is at a current 8.85, we are hoping for clear skies and a level of 8.50. Yes, while you all are gorging on July 3rd festivities and watching your kids light firecrackers up the dog's ass, We, the RiverBums, will be in paradise.

"Paradise is seldom recognized as such until it is considered from the outside."  (Herman Hesse) 


Oh and we have been outsiders for far too long people. 2 weeks and we are practically out casts. Speaking of casts, we are ready to get wet... until next time, we'll see ya on the other side of the river.


Cast Away,

Ac and Dad

RiverBums: We're on a mission from God

(Written for June 13th, 2011)

Ok, so God didn't exactly say Go fishing...But I'd like to think we have his blessing as we set forth this summer to make it another "greatest summer of fishing!" As we have for the last 10 years together.

Oh and has this season been good to us so far or what.  Dad and I embarked on a 4 hour drive ( or as they sing on Gillian's Island, a four hour drive, a four hour drive) to northern Wisconsin to fish our favorite river ********* (Sorry, if we told ya, we'd have to kill ya).

It was a clear 7.73 inch water level, 50 degrees and minimal wind. 40 smallies were caught as we walked about a mile stretch for a good 7 hours. The smallies were still bedding but when they hit it was like throwing a box of cookies down between Rosie O'donnell and pre-dancing Kristie Alley. Just sit back and let the fight begin! The smallies were skinny coming off the beds but fiesty! Our opener was sure a treat.

However, there was also an abundance of rafters. Leave it to Ac though to close the deal under pressure. Oh yes, whenever a clan of half-naked frat boy rafters come lolly-dollying down the river whispering, "look a girl," "what she doin here," "Is that a boy with a pony tail?"...She lands a fish!!! Everytime! Yes here comes hot looking boys and AC wows them not with skin my friends, but with scales. Hot, smoking scales!

Yes, we drove home happy campers with our DQ shakes in hand as treats for a good day fishing. Sure was better than a good day at the office. Speaking of, we have to get back to the real world. Hey Dad, "what do you call someone who fishes all day and never has to go to work?"

"Unemployed"

Depressed already and missing the water. So until next time, we will see ya on the other side of the river!


Cast Away,

Ac and Dad